My Not So Perfect Child…

29 Aug

This is a BIG time in our family.  Both our 5-year-old and 3-year-old are in what we call “BIG Girl Class.”  This is a huge endeavour for both, especially our 3-year-old.  Last year, she was in 2K where sippy cups, learning at her own pace and lots of grace when it comes to discipline was the norm.

As a parent, I think I was more excited about the first day of school.  Both girls teachers are Gems.  I mean seriously, aren’t all teachers.  I have always said being a teacher is a calling.  Well, here comes the first day of school. My 3 and 5-year-old walked into class without even flinching.  Honestly, I wasn’t really concerned with about my 3-year-old when it came to following the new class rules. If you were to ask anyone who knew her they would say she just isn’t that “kind of child.”  I have never, I mean never had anyone who kept her count down the hours before I picked her up.  However, my 5-year-old although very helpful, smart and curious, there are some challenges when it comes to her behavior.  Needless to say, I became prepared to a certain degree not anticipating it but prepared to have the teacher speak with me this week.

Unlike last year, 3K students behavior are monitored daily using a traffic light system.  Green: Good, student receives a small treat and note of praise.  Yellow: Caution, no treat and note and Red: Not a good day, no treat and note explaining behavior goes home.

On the first day of school, both girls had a great day.  Matter of fact, the teacher of my 3-year-old  said she did so well she made her line leader for the week.  Mrs. L even thanked me for having a well mannered child.  As you can imaginemy chest stuck out like a peacock.  And  to top it off I even received a good report from my kindergarten’s teacher as well.  It was an awesome first day!  Then came Tuesday.  My 5-year-old received a note home about her not following directions and my 3-year-old ended the day on “Yellow.”  I had a talk with the girls, reminding them about being obedient. I thought our discussion went well and just knew my 3-year-old would make better choices the next day.  My husband picked them up from school. The youngest was the first through the door screaming she had a good day. She ended on green. My husband shot her a darting look and told her to tell the truth. Meanwhile, the oldest started screaming she had a great day, following directions. My husband told me the 3-year-old did not have a great day and as I looked at her backpack I saw the note with the red ink bleeding through. It was like my whole life started in slow motion. I could not believe it. Not my sweet baby, on RED! It could not be. I pulled myself together to read the note:

J started great.  When it was time to do our coloring sheets for our color/shape book she told me She didn’t want to.  She cried and yelled “no” to me several times.  She did sit in time out for yelling at me. Mrs. L

I looked at my child setting in her princess chair and kept asking her “what went wrong? “What is going on?” Do you not like Mrs. L?”  I kept looking at my husband because honestly I did not know what to do.  I felt helpless, sadden, and completely lost.  I know, I know it is just 3K and the first week of school, give the kid a BREAK!  I had a meeting so I had to leave the house. My husband took on the task of addressing this matter while I drove to my meeting thinking what I did wrong.  However, there was a reoccurring thought I could not get out of my mind.  My 3-year-old is not perfect.  I believe that was the most disappointing.  In her almost 4 years of life on the earth she has never been a “blister” to us but rather a “blessing.”  She is not a child whom regularly acts out so I could not figure out what was happening now.  Crushed.  I had to admit it was this really about her or about me.  Honestly, about me.  I am one of those Moms who takes my job seriously.  I plan to have children who will be productive members of society.  I believe what I do today in preparing them for what’s to come up the road.  I am preparing them now for the journey of life.  While driving to my meeting I resolved not to have unrealistic expectations of my children and most importantly to make sure I am not creating this environment of “being perfect.” Because as I have come to learn “perfection” is a high bar to reach in a world that is imperfect. I have asked God for His Grace and wisdom in this area.

Meanwhile, I am happy to report both girls have adjusted well to their new class and its rules.  And when we have days that are “not so perfect” I just look at it as another opportunity to try again the next day while still reinforcing my love and God’s obedience.

In His Super Grace,

Ro:)

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2 Responses to “My Not So Perfect Child…”

  1. Allison Clary Kjærsgaard August 31, 2011 at 11:56 am #

    love this Ro. I had the same experience with my kids… one at a time! And some were worse than others! Hugs to you and those sweet babies!

    • supermomdel September 12, 2011 at 2:44 am #

      Thanks Allison!!! Blessings to you my friend!

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