DASHed dreams

2 Nov

This SuperMOMdel is fired up! Yes, I am referring to myself in third person.  No surprise here to some but Kim Kardashian’s nuptials to basketball player Kris Humphries is over.  Duh! The reportedly multi-million dollar wedding lasted all of 72 days. Really, Kim? I knew from the beginning once the dust settled from the media storm these two would be heading to Divorce court!  How did I know you ask? Well, here are some of my theories:

  1. A quick “Dash” down the aisle:  Seriously, I think they were together longer than the marriage.
  2. Rebound material?:  Now, wasn’t she just dating what’s his face and that other guy before that and oh what about you know, ummm.. what’s his name.
  3. Too much pomp and circumstance: Really, this over the top wedding became its own television show. I know people glued to the television watching.   Did Kim, not learn her lesson from Star Jones?
  4. And finally, she is a Kardashian!

All joking aside I was really hoping Kim K. would prove me wrong. Big sigh here.  Then this SuperMOMdel, started to wonder what is really happening to the marriage institution.  I am a thirty-something mother of three and married to a great guy I met in college.  Recent studies show people in my age group and more specifically in my race are not getting married.  Why is that?  The handle of marriage could compare to dating between teens.  You make me mad, you do something I don’t like, let’s divorce.  I understand there are certain situations where divorce is the viable option because of dangerous circumstance, however, it is still not a “protection” or a “safe guard” when things get tough.

I’ve been married six years and let me tell you if you have never heard it said, marriage is hard work but it works when you are with the right person.  In six years has my feelings been hurt? Yes. Have I felt lonely? Yes.  And have my husband and I argued. YES!  However, in those six years we have remained faithful to the process, to each other (and will continue to do so) and are accountable to not only Christ but to a couple who we both hold in high regard.  Why? We can’t fail because too much is riding on us winning.  We have three children, we have friends who stood by our sides at our wedding; we have family who love us and want to see this thing work and mostly importantly, we have Christ. We stood in His house making vows (more than a promise by the way) we would work at this thing called marriage at all costs.

As a generation we’re told marriage is 50/50.  But my friend, that is not true! Marriage is 100% of me and 100% of my spouse.  But that’s the problem isn’t it? Giving all of me in a marriage that works there is no guarding oneself.  It’s all or nothing! I would guess this could be one of the factors why fewer people are getting married.  Being married is not a death sentence rather it’s a life of growth that should improve the lives of both people.  Marriage should make you better not worse.

So what do you think? Do you think our generation respects marriage, why or why not?

In His SUPER Grace,

Ro:)

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6 Responses to “DASHed dreams”

  1. Crissie Miller Kirby November 2, 2011 at 10:48 am #

    No, Ro, I don’t think the institution of marriage gets the respect that it deserves and is required by GOD. I think that too many people look at divorce as a first resort instead of a last resort. Kim K is calling it quits after 10 weeks . . . I’m no saint and I was not a perfect wife, I made mistakes, don’t we all? But, I was married for over 8 years before my husband started having an affair, then once I found out about that, I stuck it out for almost 2 years to the day, doing everything I could possibly think of to save my marriage and my family. Does that make me better than Kim K.? No. I just was raised to believe that marriage is forever and that you can work through anything. But, again, it takes two people to be committed to a marriage to make it work. I think that problem is rooted in our selfish society. If we are not “happy”, then it is someone else’s fault, never our own. Even though I am divorced, I still don’t like it and I still don’t agree with it and still feel, strongly, that it should be used as a last resort alternative. Because divorce does not just affect the husband and wife – as you pointed out – it affects immediate and extended families, friends, co-workers, communities. Sorry to be so long winded here, but this is a subject I feel strongly about. So glad to know that there are still people in this world who understand and believe that marriage takes work and by working hard you can get an awesome reward in a strong marriage.

    • Crystal A. Reid November 3, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

      This coincides with what I’m learning in Gary Thomas’ book “Sacred Marriage.” He discusses the idea that marriage is designed more so to make us holy rather than happy. (Of course, if we’re focusing on the holy part, the happy part will follow.)

      • supermomdel November 7, 2011 at 12:47 am #

        Amen! Holiness. I learned that when I did the “love dare.” Great comment. Thanks!

    • supermomdel November 7, 2011 at 12:44 am #

      Crissie! Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are very courageous for doing so. And yes, I am on a mission to show people you can be “happily married.” #christfirstofcourse 🙂

  2. Rebecca (@rebeccaarouse) November 3, 2011 at 1:19 pm #

    I’m new to your blog and I love it! love this post btw – and my thoughts are very similar to yours. For me its a big frustration when people just give up, b/c like you said I made a Vow, not a promise. And it is 100% from both – my hubby isn’t going to complete me any more than I’m going to complete him. We both have to give it all, and lean on Christ for the areas we lack in.
    Its a partnership : )

    • supermomdel November 7, 2011 at 12:46 am #

      welcome Rebecca!! Thank so for your comment. Yes, I giggle when people say “this is my better half…” no honey, I was whole when I met my husband… 🙂

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