The Unfriendly World of Facebook

Let’s face the facts, it can be a cruel and rather lonely in the world of social media.   In 421 characters or less you can get on your soapbox , becoming a “preacher” of sorts to an online congregation.   People type in that little status box, hit the share button without even thinking twice.  Afterall, it is our opinion, right?  Well, I have heard it said best, “Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one.”  Most recently, a friend of mine left the “happy” world of Facebook.  Her reason: it was toxic.  How can that be? It’s not like your status update is not being shared with people you know, these folks are your friends, right?  Well, not really.  Especially if you are going against the dominating thought of the person who posted or commented in that little blue box.  On more than one occasion, I’ve heard the stories of people being “unfriended” by relatives or long time friends because of a difference in belly buttons, I mean opinions.  Most recently, a friend of a friend called me “a fool and ignorant”  because of a comment I made about a politically charged situation.  Even as I write this, I have thought about saying farewell to my list of one thousand “friends” due to the negativity and down right silliness of it all.  Then I thought, wait, I knew how these people were before I accepted their friend request.  It should come as no surprise to their lack of dissection, character and so on. I allowed them to enter into my world.   I have experienced people break-up, make-up, fall-out, and air-out(their dirty laundry) all in the sake of a “status update.”  I can tell you now most of those people were “unfriended.” 

However, not everything is bad out here in Facebook land.  For example, on my wall I solicited prayer requests.  Emails from friend flooded my inbox.  Ah, yes, this was a good day as the Lord gave me the opportunity to share the Gospel of Christ. Facebook has also given me the chance to stay connected with my family in the West Indies without picking up the phone. Yes, I think we can all name at least one good which has come out of being on social media.

Another one of those things are boundaries.  I have found it pertinent in this social media realm to set “rules” of sort to deal with people who really try to “test” my Jesus.  Here are my rules:

1. Pick your battles:  Before posting, I ask myself the following: Do I need to respond to this post? Often times you have to consider the source, the person who posted.  Are they attention seeking, trouble makers or ignorant.
2. Hide and Seek:  There is a cool option Facebook offers where you can hide a person’s post.  If you are passionate about certain issues and to see a certain person’s comments cause your angst, right-click and Hide the comment.
3. Avoid, Avoid and Avoid: I have decided when a political debate, celebrity death or any other big news story is happening, I avoid Facebook.  NO matter, how tempting I do.not.log.on!
4. Consider the Friendship:  I take full responsibility for the people I call my “friends”.  I hit the “confirm” button so I must take total responsibility.  Earlier this year, I had to “unfriend” a relative after some rather vulgar posts. I decided I could not just hide her post, she had to go altogether. I don’t use profanity, tell dirty jokes, and the alike and I will not tolerate it in my news feed. 

Ultimately, we must have a belief system and  never compromise it.  Since implementing I have been less stressed.  Now there are some things I rather do without, however, when someone breaks the rules, I am not afraid to stand up and speak.  After all, this is my space and I have a right to protect it. 

Let’s hear from you.   Do you have any recommendations to handle the varies personalities of  Facebook? Please share.

In His Super Grace

Ro:)

Time for Some AUCTION

There is not much these days that doesn’t make me excited! I am so pumped about 2012. One of the things I am super excited about is my upcoming auction.  Besides being a wife, mama, blogger and everything else in between, I am also a jewelry designer.  I have made jewelry for years, starting To BEad Continued officially in 2006.  However, it was not really until last year I really started to run it like a business versus a hobby.  We specialize in designing jewelry in limited quantities so you can brag to your friends about your one of a kind find. 

This Friday night we are doing something really special and I promise you don’t want to miss this! We are having a live auction on our Facebook page.  This is our second time doing such an auction.  This first one was so much fun we decided to do it again and this time share the love with other small business owners.  Here is a rundown of the other businesses involved in the auction.

Saturday HanDBags: Features handmade totes, bags, coupon binders, organizers and more.  Jetahri De Belen, owner/designer has sewed since she was 14 years-old.  Why Saturday HanDBags?  Jetahri says she feels like Saturday is the best day out of the entire week! I would agree.

The Accessorized Woman: Features women’s scarves, fabric handbags and jewelry.  Tameka P. Marsh, owner/operator started T.A.W. out of her love for great finds at reasonable prices.  Check out The Accessorized Woman on Facebook.

So here’s the skinny on the auction.  If you want to take part of the action on Friday night, first we are asking you to do a few things.  Please go “Like” these shops Facebook page if you have not already done so. Leave the following comment on their page: new fan from@tobeadcontinued.  When you do please go to my Facebook page, To BEad Continued and leave a comment letting me know you have “Liked” both pages.  Of course, this is an honor system however, the shop owners would really appreciate the Facebook love!  Now you are ready to shop ’til you drop!

The auction begins Friday, January 13th at 8pm and ends Saturday, January 14th at 8pm on To BEad Continued’s Fan page on Facebook.  All items are in a photo album with specific instructions on bidding. It is a win-win! So get your game face on and get ready to have a good time.  Please share with friends as we really want to support these local small business women.

In His Super Grace,

Ro 🙂

Ode to Freddie: First Pet Fish

We'll Miss You Freddie:The Fish(this is not actually Freddie but a likeness)

This fish tale(I could not help it) starts off with a class lesson in the letter “F”.  My daughter is in 3K.  As a class project they were learning about the letter “F”.  All the children in class came home with a fish, “Freddie: The Fish.”   I thought it was a cleaver idea.  The grandparents the week before had already purchased two goldfish, at least that is what I think they are and it seems like we were doing well with having a family pet.  By the way, the other two fish are named Nemo and Ceelo (not to be confused with the singer Ceelo Green).  So here we are Nemo, Ceelo and Freddie:The Fish all living in one big happy fish tank.  Freddie: The Fish really was the small fish in a rather big pond.  He was much, much smaller than the other fish.  He could not eat the pellet fish food as the others, so we fed him the flaky fish food.  As my three-year-old constantly told us, ” Do not feed Freddie too much he will die.”  I guess a fair warning from her teacher.  Ok, So we watched Freddie’s food intake… until I noticed one day as a family friend’s daughter was feeding the fish, Freddie was looking; well not so FISHY! He was moving rather slow and looked rather seasick.  I know, he’s a fish, and they live in water.   But Freddie looked really, really sick! 

The next day we got up as usual and were getting the kids ready for school.  That morning we had our prayers were the oldest, the 5-year-old thanked the Lord for Freddie. Well sometime between giving thanks or maybe even before Freddie went belly up, literally.  Thank God it was not noticed.  I believe that was the Lord’s grace for all of us.   So my husbands goes to take the kids to school and I had to fish, I mean scoop poor ol’ Freddie out the tank.  I put him in a Starbucks paper cup as we tried to figure out what to do. When in doubt and in need of a good laugh, the best place to turn is if of course, Facebook. (the names are removed to protect the innocent.

 The following is my Facebook post the morning of the discovery:

Whelp, “Freddie the fish” is belly up, literally. After prayer with the kids today Jacobee and I discovered the lifeless body. Smh. Goldfish. Now I am preparing myself to get this thing out of the tank and talking to the kids. Smh. Now I know how cliff huxtuable felt like when rudy”s gold fish died on the crosby show. (sigh)

Oh…Freddie!!

 

Whattt??? I just met him yesterday. He didn’t look sick… When is the funeral?

 

Weeelll u could do what we did…take fish back and exchange it for one that looks like it. If the kids dont know its dead it wont matter….

 

Gotta stick to beta fish .. they last longer ..lol. hope the kids do ok with the news… 

 

That was the best Cosby episode….I do find myself resorting to some of Cliff’s tacktics with my kids from time to time….lol So sorry about the fish

 

Is Jael going to put on a black leotard for the funeral? : ) (One of the best TV episodes ever…)

 

Ok see that’s why I like stuffed animals! Smh

 

RIP Freddy the fish

 

we had a beta fish to die about two years ago and for a while if you even mentioned the fish name, spencer would cry. I made the mistake of getting rid of the fish while they were gone for the weekend. Grief and mourning for like a year. A funeral would be ummm….cute. lol!

As you can see the responses were pretty HIGH-larious!  My husband and I seriously thought about buying a fish, replacing Freddie before the girls got home from school.  Then we thought that would be lying. The very thing we tell them not to do.  By the way, if you have replaced a pet without your children knowing, in no means am I throwing stones.  I am just saying WE decided not to do that but rather confront the situation head on. 

This is our plan:

1. Do NOT make a BIG deal:  If we minimize it, not trivialize it most likely the children will not make a big deal about it either.
2. Be truthful: If this is what we tell them well we better model it.  Package the truth in a way they can understand and move on.
3. Honor Feelings:  If they want to cry, let ’em. Little people have feelings too.

Well, the time came to tell the girls about Freddie:The Fish.  I started off with “Girls. I have something to tell you.” This got their attention.  But for some reason the younger child, the three-year-old keep looking over at the Fish Tank.  ” Girls, Freddie:The Fish is dead.” (pause) Then, in unison they both said “Awww, Freddie…” and then came the questions. The main one where is Freddie right now? I told them he was in a paper cup(see picture below).  They wanted to see him and say their good-byes.  I allowed them and then little Freddie went floating with the fishes(again, I could not resist). Basically, Daddy flushed Freddie down the toilet.  The girls response: “He may get lost!”

R.I.P. Freddie:The Fish

 

So I want to hear from you.  Have you ever had to break difficult news to your children, maybe about death? How did you do it? Please leave a comment so we can walk this journey together.

In HIS SUPER Grace

Ro:)