Tag Archives: Advice

Endurance

7 May

A show of hands, has anyone else noticed that losing weight is not easy?  How about when you are over 30?  It is like my metabolism is staging a boycott yelling..”Heck no, We won’t go!”.  I have been on my wealth of health journey since last Thanksgiving.  By now I want the numbers on the scale to say less but the “fat” is slooooowly coming off. And I do mean slow. It’s frustrating.  At times, you almost feel like giving up. My self talk: I could try some quick fad diet and lose record weight in little to no time but what would that do?  For me, taking me right back in the place of never really learning the act of discipline.  If you are a parent isn’t this what we attempt to convey to our children.  No shortcuts, no easy routes, do it right the first time, give it all you’ve got!  Yep, as a mother of three children under the age of 6 years old. I had to swallow my pill today of “easy.”

Two weeks ago was a tough one.  I had an emotional charged situation and instead of expressing how I felt I turned to my old faithful companion:Food. I binged for two days as I processed what I had to deal with.  The hard reality after seven months of doing it “right” I went  back to my old habits.  I was disgusted with myself.  And I could feel it that Monday at the gym.  I felt alone. mad. sad. defeated.  I knew in that moment how a drug addict felt.  I did what I only knew how to do. I prayed. Yes, I prayed about my lack of discipline.  I had to put it on the altar so God could consume my issues with food.  I am encouraged to know God answers when His daughter calls.

In my time I learned a few things: I am not looking for a quick fix.  This is my way of life.  I have gone from never exercising to having a regular workout regime.  It will take time for my body and mind to get use to that.  I need accountability.  I can no longer be the lone ranger.  Just as a new believer in Christ I allowed people to teach, direct and hold me to the fire, I must have that same attitude in this “new” life.  And lastly, I have to renew my mind to food, exercise and my overall health.

My first step was to reach out to my workout partner “Beth” especially when I feel like down a whole case of Oreo cookies.  This is a huge step for me.  I am use to “taking care” of everything for everyone.  To admit I may need some help especially to someone who I am still getting to know made me vulnerable.  I need accountability.  I also decided to speak with someone about nutrition.  I can’t doing all this work and “eating” it back up. And finally, I decided to share my fitness goals with you. I am a transparent person, at least I would like to think so but the following let’s the world know what’s in my heart. (deep breath, so here it is goes)

  • lose 45 pounds
  • better relationship with food and money(will explain later)
  • run/walk in a 5k( a walk or run)
  • mud run (I know I have lofty goals)
  • learn how to swim this summer
  • wear a bathing suit
  • build endurance
  • stick with it

I am so grateful to all of you who send words of encouragement.  Please know I do not take it lightly.  Your encouragement has been the push I needed many days.  Along with the support of “Beth”, family and friends. I can say I am a blessed woman.  There are some “haters” but they only drive me not to quit.  My faith in Christ has been a great asset on those days when encouragement may seem far and few between.  Here are the two scriptures I am quoting this week.  I especially was saying the first during my first ever 6 mile walk/run last week.

But the one who endures to the end will be saved.  Matthew 24:13 NLT

We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

Hebrews 6:12 NIV

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What’s In A Name

16 Apr

Hey, there gorgeous!

Today, someone called me the wrong name. It happens often.  When you have a name that is not “common” people have a tendency to well make up one for you.  My name is Roshanda, which I pronounce as Ro-shon-da.  It probably should be pronounced Ro-shan-da however, I do not like that pronunciation, and I never have, it sounds pretentious to me.  My mother and father were expecting a boy; Lo and behold they got another girl! As the name story goes, my mother says she was reading “Jet” Magazine a weekly magazine targeted toward African-American readers, founded in 1951 according to Wikipedia. My mom says she saw some person in the magazine with the name “Roshanda,” she thought it was different and decided to go with that one.  Hence, I was named Roshanda.  Now, for anyone who has ever read “Jet” each issue includes the beauty of the week. When I tell the story on how my name came to be, I say, I was named after the beauty of the week.

Growing up I never liked my name much.  Seriously, what is a “Roshanda?” I was the only one in my class surrounded by an abundance of “Jennifer’s.”  By the way, Jennifer was a popular name in the 70’s. Matter of fact, my five imaginary friends were all named, you guessed it, Jennifer.  My uncommon name hang-ups weren’t just at school, but when I got home too.  My older sister is named Lisa. Yes, you heard correctly, Lisa. My sister, like most, would torment me with the story about being adopted since my name was not as common as hers. (Evil sister!)

Seriously, what’s a name anyway?  In a day when people name their children after fruit, a color in the crayon box, or even just make it up what’s the big deal?  Well, a lot.  When I decided to have my own children a lot of thought went into the name.  I thought about it all. I said the name, I screamed the name, and I imagined what it would look like on a graduation program and how the initials would look on a monogrammed tote.  I may have been a little obsessive, but I know what it is like to have an unusual name.  My husband and I really wanted names that connected with our faith in Christ.  So when it came to our daughters name we prayed and hence the name: Jael Kaelyn.  Jael is a Hebrew named pronounced (Yah-el).  I like the Hebrew pronunciation, but knew people would not get that right.  So we call her (Jah-el). Her whole name means: strength of God delivered.  And I can testify He certainly has! All of our children have significance in their name.  The reason is simply in the Bible people named their children based upon where they were going or where they left.  There is power in a name.  I believe what we name our children has a great significance on who they will later become.

How about you? Do you like your name? If you could change it, what would you change it to and why?

 

In His Super Grace

Ro:)

Happy I love you forever… to us!

19 Mar

I will admit next to my birthday month, March is my favorite time of all.  7 years ago today, I married the man who I truly believe is just for me.  We just returned from a short trip without our children.  The time was overdue.  We had a wonderful time of connecting, reviving and enjoying one another.For the past few weeks I have thought about how we got to 7 years of marriage.  7 years seems short to our parents 80 years of marriage collectively.  Whoa, that’s a long time of waking up next the same person!

Our story started at Winthrop University.  Affectionately called “The WU”. Winthrop is the place where I met several people who have changed my life in many ways.  First, my Savior, Jesus Christ, friends who later became sisters, my Pastor and his wife and my husband(that handsome guy on the left).

Boy, do I love him.  However, it’s funny to think I did not like him at first.  But, little did we know God had a plan to intertwine our lives.  Our relationship started off as a “work relationship”.  We had mutual friends involved in campus ministries.  We worked closely in helping others fulfill the vision God has placed in their hearts.  Meanwhile, we were both involved in relationships that were not the best.  Let me talk about that for a minute. To all my single ladies (in my Beyonce voice), as a born again Christian it was very important that the guy I was with loved the Lord just as much as I do.  The guy I was “dating” at the time said he’s a Christian but compromised in his relationship with the Lord, thus leading me to compromise as well.  Remember this ladies, whatever the man “is” now he will be that same person once you married.  Ultimately, I let that person go and decided I would be recklessly abandoned to Christ.  No more “dating” for me.   The time alone with Christ was awesome.  Our relationship developed during those times alone, during those times of me being focused that even now many years later I am still experiencing the benefits.

After spending time together, we joke because all of our friends in our group starting “courting” we had no other choice.  We realized our lives had changed and really we liked each other.  As I type this I still remember when I realized “I loved” this man.  I was living in Rock Hill, SC at the time with two other friends. I was standing there in my bedroom looking at my walk-in closet and suddenly felt overwhelmed.  You know the feeling you get when you have a task before you but just don’t know what to do? I became overwhelmed with the thought that this man was precious to God.  I became overwhelmed with the thought that I “sucked” at my previous relationships and never been involved in a healthy relationship with a man where sexual intimacy was not an issue. I  became overwhelmed by his story of his past relationship and did not want him to experience the feelings he had with the “other” woman.  I cried. I mean, I cried the ugly cry, fell to my knees and prayed.  at that moment I realized two things: I really loved this person from a pure place.  In my previous relationships there was still a bit of selfishness but this time I cared more about him than I did about myself. Secondly, the Lord spoke to me and said these simple word which I still remember today and shared with a dear friend when she started “courting.”

This is what I heard: ” Just be a good steward.”

Those words have wrapped around my heart from that day up until the present.  This is really the short story of our courtship.

Engagement pictures taken at Winthrop University(2004)

These last two years have been a testing ground for us.  We are both in ministry, raising three young children under 6 years of age, business owners and involved in our community.  Service is at the core of our relationship, after all it is what brought us together.  However, on my end I had to deal with some feelings that I never had before when our third child was born.  Stress and outside influences were attempting to tear us apart.  We argued, we went to bed mad some nights, I even cried myself to sleep because I “felt” like my needs were not being met.  But something happened, that changed my “mind”.   I realized I was the problem.   Yes, I was the PROBLEM!  I focused too much on what was wrong and did not concentrate on what drew me to love my husband in the first place.  I was not doing what the Lord taught me long ago, ” Just be a good steward.”  Sometime wives we have to do that even when it seems like nothing is changing! So I changed. I returned to my first love(Revelation 2:2-5).  Now, today our marriage is not perfect, however, I rather not grow towards perfection with anyone else.

So here is what I have learned in 7 years of marriage:

Wedding anniversary last year at Swan Lake(photo courtesy: DL Acken Photography)

 1. Communion:  Time with the Lord is key.  When focused on Christ and His promises, I am less consumed with thinking about what my husband is or isn’t doing.   Marriage is holy! It is a holy institution, and we must remember that.  I remember when I read that in the Love Dare  I was totally floored by that concept. I know the Lord is holy but I never equated that with my spouse.  Unfortunately, I believe people including me forget and start treating our spouse like a “dish towel”, a common object.  A “dish towel” wipes up the mess, its wet and sometimes smells, its ordinary. Our spouse is not ordinary.  They are “noble” (2 Timothy 2:20) not plain.

2. Stewardship:  We must remember our spouse is not “ours” but a gift God has entrusted to us.  It is our responsibility to take care of them as Christ would.

3. Watch Your Mouth!:  Words are powerful. You have what you say (Proverbs 18:21).  I was complaining so much about what was happening, I even did it in my prayer.  I had to speak more time speaking about where “we” were heading together, keeping that before my “spiritual eyes”.  I also learned it is very important who you allow to speak into your marriage.  The wrong words from a well-meaning person could be the lighter fluid to an already raging fire.

4. Perspective: What is really true? I had to remind myself my husband is not trying to intentionally hurt me.  I have to make a point to live in the truth, God’s word is the truth.

5. Be obedient: I think this by far has been the most important in the pass few months: I have learned to do what I believe the Lord is leading me to do. I was waiting on my husband but there are things God will speak to you do and may not speak that to your spouse. Don’t condemn them for it, just be obedient.

Since doing the above my relationship with my spouse has changed a lot.  Happy Anniversary baby, here is to 7 plus 60 more years of growing in the GREATER. I love you today, tomorrow and always.

In His Super Grace

Ro:)

The Unfriendly World of Facebook

27 Feb

Let’s face the facts, it can be a cruel and rather lonely in the world of social media.   In 421 characters or less you can get on your soapbox , becoming a “preacher” of sorts to an online congregation.   People type in that little status box, hit the share button without even thinking twice.  Afterall, it is our opinion, right?  Well, I have heard it said best, “Opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one.”  Most recently, a friend of mine left the “happy” world of Facebook.  Her reason: it was toxic.  How can that be? It’s not like your status update is not being shared with people you know, these folks are your friends, right?  Well, not really.  Especially if you are going against the dominating thought of the person who posted or commented in that little blue box.  On more than one occasion, I’ve heard the stories of people being “unfriended” by relatives or long time friends because of a difference in belly buttons, I mean opinions.  Most recently, a friend of a friend called me “a fool and ignorant”  because of a comment I made about a politically charged situation.  Even as I write this, I have thought about saying farewell to my list of one thousand “friends” due to the negativity and down right silliness of it all.  Then I thought, wait, I knew how these people were before I accepted their friend request.  It should come as no surprise to their lack of dissection, character and so on. I allowed them to enter into my world.   I have experienced people break-up, make-up, fall-out, and air-out(their dirty laundry) all in the sake of a “status update.”  I can tell you now most of those people were “unfriended.” 

However, not everything is bad out here in Facebook land.  For example, on my wall I solicited prayer requests.  Emails from friend flooded my inbox.  Ah, yes, this was a good day as the Lord gave me the opportunity to share the Gospel of Christ. Facebook has also given me the chance to stay connected with my family in the West Indies without picking up the phone. Yes, I think we can all name at least one good which has come out of being on social media.

Another one of those things are boundaries.  I have found it pertinent in this social media realm to set “rules” of sort to deal with people who really try to “test” my Jesus.  Here are my rules:

  1. Pick your battles:  Before posting, I ask myself the following: Do I need to respond to this post? Often times you have to consider the source, the person who posted.  Are they attention seeking, trouble makers or ignorant.
  2. Hide and Seek:  There is a cool option Facebook offers where you can hide a person’s post.  If you are passionate about certain issues and to see a certain person’s comments cause your angst, right-click and Hide the comment.
  3. Avoid, Avoid and Avoid: I have decided when a political debate, celebrity death or any other big news story is happening, I avoid Facebook.  NO matter, how tempting I do.not.log.on!
  4. Consider the Friendship:  I take full responsibility for the people I call my “friends”.  I hit the “confirm” button so I must take total responsibility.  Earlier this year, I had to “unfriend” a relative after some rather vulgar posts. I decided I could not just hide her post, she had to go altogether. I don’t use profanity, tell dirty jokes, and the alike and I will not tolerate it in my news feed. 

Ultimately, we must have a belief system and  never compromise it.  Since implementing I have been less stressed.  Now there are some things I rather do without, however, when someone breaks the rules, I am not afraid to stand up and speak.  After all, this is my space and I have a right to protect it. 

Let’s hear from you.   Do you have any recommendations to handle the varies personalities of  Facebook? Please share.

In His Super Grace

Ro:)

23 Feb

So overjoyed for my friend and fellow blogger Staci Rutherford. She stepped out of the familiar so can you. What do you need to make some forward steps in? Let her story inspire you!

Every Woman Blog

By:  Staci Rutherford

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch

I found this quote months ago and it made me stop and think about where I am in my life, and where I want to be.  I have many goals that I want to accomplish, but often struggle with determining what to do first.  My time management and procrastination issues often leave me wondering how I will get it all done.  I follow a group of bloggers who are my source of motivation, because they are living a life doing what they love.  I have already established my love of handbags, and nothing would make me happier than turning my passion into a profitable business and life-long career.  Since my last post, I finally made the first move.

Before I share my exciting news, I must acknowledge two dynamic women who have come into…

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7 Feb

Find Your “Happy” Place… it could save your life!

Every Woman Blog

By: Roshanda Pratt

Here is a question, Do you know what brings you joy? You know the thing that brings you the greatest peace, allows you to breathe and fills a place of purpose in your life.  Since 7 years old I have had a great interest in anything involving creativity.  As a young child my mother purchased me a sewing machine.  I remember her coming home one day with a box of scraps from her friend who worked in a fabric factory.  Needless to say my Barbie was the most well dressed doll in the neighborhood.  I loved working with crafts.  The creative process helps me to say “Ahh!!!”

Then life happened…I grew up, started a professional career and left behind my “happy” place.  I finally returned when I realized once again my busy lifestyle and hectic job was sucking the life out of me.  I needed to say…

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